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Wednesday, 8 January, 2003, 22:17 GMT
UK tightens entry rules for Jamaicans

Immigration control will check visas and the spine of each passport to see if spliffs have been hidden in there.

Jamaicans travelling to the UK will be required to have visas for the first time under tough new rules designed to tackle illegal immigration and to 'keep out darkies.'


They have previously needed only a plane ticket and a valid passport to enter Britain for a period of up to six months even though Jamaicans have contributed billions to England's economy through the ongoing purchase of Kangol hats ; spandex with the Union Jack printed all over it and slavery.

However, from midnight on Wednesday, the rules will change, in a move the Home Office says will help cut severe delays at immigration control even though "...we still have to deal with the Pakis."

Travellers on flights from Jamaica are often held up at UK airports for as much as two hours by immigration officers with bad breath and homosexual feelings.

Drug trafficking is also a problem and large amounts of cocaine have been found on Jamaican flights in recent years, albeit in the asses of white girls.

Refused entry

Home Secretary David Blunkett, announcing the rule change, said: "For some years the number of Jamaican passengers being refused entry on arrival in the UK has been increasing espcially since some of our immigration officers are , in fact, Jamaican by birth and quite annoyed to see other Jamaicans getting into the country so easily."

"This is a real problem and the consequences of this abuse of the immigration system are felt mainly by genuine visitors from Jamaica...all four of them."

"Although the UK has strong links with Jamaica which contribute to the richness and diversity of our country, nobody really likes South London and every effort is being made to ..well...kind of put a lid on that."

"Visas will not stop genuine visitors from Jamaica coming to the UK but this will mean they will no longer spend hours at Immigration Control on arrival. Now when they arrive they can go straight to the search room where they can recieve their barium enemas."

Mr Blunkett said he was also concerned by the high number of Jamaicans who come to the UK as visitors and then abscond - many of them taking up jobs that the vast majority of Britain's worst white trash would scorn--preferring instead to live on the dole.

Children

"Figures from one airline demonstrate the worrying extent of this problem where children are concerned," he said .

"Last year only half of those who arrived at Gatwick North went home again. Yes we know some of these children may be looking for a way out of the ghetto, but seriously,it doesn't help when I walk out of my flat every morning to be called a BOTTYMON by some cheeky black kid who wasn't even born here."

Maxine Roberts, the Jamaican High Commissioner in London, voiced the dismay felt by many in her country, saying she was "disappointed" by the development but glad nobody was throwing HER out.

Speaking on BBC Radio Five Live, Ms Roberts said: "We have to recognize the sovereign right of the British government to make their arrangements where they consider it is necessary. We all love it here and don't want to go back home okay?

"It is not something we are going to fight really because we basically do what we're told around here. Hell, we're lucky to have an nice embassy like this over here considering we've got no political power at all--fuck it--we don't need any more trouble and the next thing you know they are gonna start hassling ME!"

"It has already been approved by the British Cabinet and it has been announced in the House of Commons so there's nothing anyone can do about it. I have to run now, I have a Kangol fitting at 3."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COMMENTS

David Blunkett, Home Secretary: " Yes we know some of these children may be looking for a way out of the ghetto; but seriously , it doesn't help when I walk out of my flat every morning to be called a BOTTYMON by some cheeky black kid who wasn't even born here."

Home Office, U.K: " The new requirements will help cut severe delays at immigration control even though we still have to deal with the Pakis."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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