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7)TAKE AWAY HER BIBLE.
After all, she didn't buy it and I am related to the person
who did. Removing her bible will teach her that it is
wrong to bite the hand that feeds her.
6) HER TELEVISION
MUST BE IMMEDIATELY CONFISCATED. Bernadette has obviously
been watching too many American programs such as the JEFFERSON'S
in which maid insubordination is viewed as funny or tolerable.
If she behaves , she can have her tv back in a year but
without cable.
5) FORCE
HER TO WEAR A UNIFORM. In the old days, maids in Jamaica
had to wear properly pressed uniforms, particularly when
they were serving guests. I miss those days. And besides,
her violent outburst is obviously stemmed from low self-esteem,
possibly as a result of her poor wardrobe. A uniform may
give her a new sense of worth.
4) SHE MUST
RECITE HER ABC'S EVERY NIGHT AFTER DINNER. Bernadette
barely literate state is a problem. Special emphasis must
be placed on pronouncing her H's. Instead of saying "-ELP",
she must say "HELP", etc, etc.
3)Bernadette
MUST ONLY BE ALLOWED ACCESS TO SHARP OBJECTS (SUCH AS
KNIVES OR MACHETES) WHILE ENCLOSED IN A SPECIAL "COOKING
CAGE." This is for obvious security reasons.
2) THE
DOGS MUST BE FED BEFORE HER EVERY NIGHT. This will teach
her that we are very mad at her for trying to kill me
with a machete.
1) NO MORE
FAN OR VAPE MOSQUITO KILLER FOR TWO WEEKS. This means
that every time Bernadette gets hot or bitten by mosquitos
she will be reminded that it is WRONG to shake machete's
at people and say:
"
A JAMAICA DIS YUH KNOW BWOY!!!!? MI WILL KILL YOUR RED
RASS!!!"
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