1) You are often perceived
by the underprivileged as the reason for their hunger
and misery. (They're probably right too.)
2) Your house is too big for your family
and there's a lot of people that believe they can make
more efficient use of your wasted space, electricity,
running water and satellite dish.
3) Some people think your new Mercedes would better serve
the public if it had a knobby steering wheel, a beaded
seat-cover, a little gold crown on the dashboard, a gold
tissue paper dispenser on the back headrest and some silver
lettering on the windshield that spell out the words:
"GOD BLESS TAXI."
4) "Nuff man never get fi slam a brown gyal yet."
5) Those huge stereo speakers of yours would be great
to "hold a session" with.
6) Your licenced firearm may be the deadliest nine-millimetre
that Smith and Wesson sells. But a lot of angry individuals
know you have it and want it-they're bored of using the
rusty "one-pops" that they steal from the police.
7) When the rioters finally arrive at your gate, the fact
that you handed out free Red Stripe and hired STONELOVE
to play on your front lawn is no guarantee that you won't
be chopped up with a machete like everyone else on your
8) What can a underfed and unarmed security guard do to
protect you and your horrified family when his brains
are oozing ineffectively onto his authorized persons list.
9) DO NOT attempt to satisfy the mob by
throwing them bags of old clothes and saying : "shoo,
10) It probably won't fool anyone if you
put on that dread-wig you got on the beach at SANDALS
and shout things like : "P.J a sodomite! All uptown
battybwoy fi bloodcloth dead!"
So, if you didn't already know, now you
do. And if you already did, why are you still here?'t
already know, now you do. And if you already did, why
are you still here?