Stoning with stale bread

By Tanya Batson-Savage

THE JAMAICA GLEANER | Thursday January 27, 2005

LINK : ( http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20050127/ent/ent3.html )

THE FIRST official Public Stonings saw a stage covered with stale bread long before the end of the night, Tuesday at Weekendz Bar and Bistro. Hosted by Zimboo, the night featured a variety of performers dabbling in either music or poetry or a combination.

Zimboo, armed with a wooden crocodile and a fake African accent explained the rules for the night. First, stoning happens generally during open microphone. Second, during the early segment of the show the audience is allowed to stone a performer after her third piece, as each guest is allowed only three items.

The third rule allows a member of the audience to stone themselves. "If you want to stone yourself, knock yourself out," advised Zimboo. The final rule is that the audience is only allowed to use the stale bread provided by the organisers (sold at $100.00 per bag with a two for one special on Tuesday) for all stonings.

UGLY WOMAN

Zimboo started off the performances with a funny song about an ugly woman. The refrain declared that he would still appreciate an ugly woman because her beauty is just "a light switch away". Though the audience laughed along uproariously, when he restarted the song for the third time he was greeted with bread.

Stoning Zimboo was one of the main features of the night. His every appearance on the stage was greeted with bread. From early on, he declared, however that he was not afraid of the bread. "Throw a spear you ugly bastard, throw a spear," he said taunting the audience.

The stale bread was not, however, reserved for Zimboo. When open microphone came Kevin Lee was the first to take up the challenge. He announced that he would sing a song his father had sung to him and then promptly began to break dance. Stale bread greeted him.

Next up was Charger, who was introduced as a dancer. However, dancing was not on his mind. Charger launched into an acapella deejay spiel. Stale bread greeted him.

NOT EVERYONE STONED

However, he was not to be stopped by a mere storm of dough. He continued and more stale bread greeted him. Charger proved to have more stamina than the audience however, because he ended his performance with a bed of bread surrounding him. Cancer, who was in control of the turntable heightened the moment by playing at the line 'Dem a go tired fi see mi face', upon his departure.

Not everyone was stoned, however. Nadia followed Charger to the stage and her trepidation was obvious. Cancer then played Don't worry about a thing, to allay her fears. "You think they would really stone a woman?" asked Zimboo. She had nothing to worry about, however, as after her first poem one man declared, "Mi nah lick yuh Nadia."

Warfare received a minor stoning but went on to get praise. "We shouldn't be throwin' no bread," Warfare declared when he hit the stage. "Right now there are kids in Africa starving." The comment brought a hail of stale bread.

"You eat it," called one female stoner. The stoning generally seemed to be in relatively good fun and guest performers like Ashanti and Oba Simba earned much applause.

Public Stonings will return on February 8 for hopefully another night of talent and storms of stale bread.