Ellis Island wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

There were no massage parlours, video arcades or even a wax museum.

I ended up walking around for an hour until I came across an unlocked door to one of the little theatres where shitty actors put on plays re-enacting the arrival of immigrants to New York at the turn of the century.

On the wall were pictures of immigrants and the props on the stage included a couple of beat up suitcases, some canvas bags, an old hat and pictures of Jewish people and Wops.

Just for kicks, I picked up a suitcase and slung one of the canvas bags over my shoulder.

I began pacing the stage from left to right and moaning like a really sickly east-European immigrant.

'Oh...I'm soooo happeeee to come to Amereeeka', I said, 'in Amereeka all the streets are flowing with buttermilk and grain!'

Suddenly the theatre door swung and a security guard stuck his head inside.

I stopped moving and he looked at me for a second standing there with the suitcase and the canvas bag.

"What the hell you think you're doing?", he asked in an aggravated tone.

'Acting', I said.

'But you don't work here' he said'

Again there was a silence.

"You must be a racist", I stuttered as I put down the suitcase and canvas bag and planned my next move.

"What?", he said.

I didn't answer.

"Get out of here", he said.

I left after that.