After wearily staggering off the bus I asked a toothless security guard where a good spot to have 'breakfuss' might be and he told me about a place called "Missus Eggs" which was across the street from the station. Then I asked a weary looking cop if there were any lockers around where we could put my bags.

He said that the city was virtually lockerless since several recent terrorist attacks in New York had made lockers a security risk.

"Fucking terrorists", I muttered.

So, I dragged my bag with me across the street into the diner where the toothless guard had directed me.

The place was packed with New York's finest sitting around eating big plates of runny eggs and smelly pink bacon. The conversation of the morning seemed to be about the Haitian guy that was suing the Police Department and the City of New York because some cops had beat the shit out of him and rammed a toilet plunger handle up his asshole.

That week a few hundred people , many of them waving toilet plungers, had walked across the Brooklyn Bridge to protest the attack. Apparently, the incident had made a lot of people angry, most obviously the Haitian guy who needed something like 40 stitches to close up his asshole again.

I remember how pissed-off he looked on TV as they wheeled him around in front of the glaring lights and asked him questions like:

"what were you thinking when they inserted a toilet plunger handle into your anus?"

I was tempted to ask one of them if they actually knew any of the cops who had done the ramming. But then I wondered if they would think I was being a prick and drag me into the back of Missus Eggs and shove another toilet plunger handle up my black ass. So I didn't say anything, but they still made me uncomfortable as I sat there watching them stuffing their faces through the noxious clouds of cigarette smoke that was making my top lip stink.

I'll be honest, I don't like cops. They've never done anything to help me. In fact, they've always done the exact opposite. I remember when I lived in Toronto this one cop got blown away by a black guy and the entire city freaked out.

The man who shot him is what the authorities called a "landed immigrant." He had lived in the cuntry since he was 6 years old but the family of the dead cop tried to sue the Department of Immigration for compensation ,even before they tried and convicted the bastard!

They argued that if the Department of Immigration had sent his black-ass back to Jamaica years ago, he would never have had the opportunity to shoot their son's brains all over a wall in an underground garage.

They held a huge funeral for the dead pig and every cop on the goddamned North American continent showed up in their Sunday-best (a uniform) to follow him to his grave. Everyone was talking about how bad the city was getting even though he was the first cop to get shot dead in 20 years.

I remember how I reacted to the event as well:

I invited all my friends over, shared out an ounce of high grade weed; turned down the volume on the TV, and served pie!