You can't go to New York City unless you take at least five minutes to go hang around on the Brooklyn Bridge.

It's a nice place to go once you've realized that you hate everyone in New York City. That's because nobody who actually lives in New York City goes to hang around on the Brooklyn Bridge.

If I lived in New York City though, I bet I would visit it a lot.

It's pretty high off the ground and every other week somebody flings themself over the edge into the river of radioactive slime three hundred miles below.

People are constantly getting run over by bicycles that come speeding down the left side of the pathway hitting the morons who can't read the signs that say " Pedestrians stay right."

Of course, its fun to irritate the many tour guides by interupting their explanations with phrases like :

'You're making that up as you go along!", or " Nice lies. got any more lies liar?'

It's even better when you're wearing a rabbit head though because all the tourists want to take a picture beside you and its a great opportunity to feel up women or pick someone's pocket.

While I was on the bridge a German woman came up to me and asked me to let her take picture with me. She asked my name and I said:

'I am Klaus de Aryan rabbit..would you like to buy a lampshade made of real human flesh?'

She was really offended by that and gave me this emotional lecture about how she wasn't responsible for the crimes committed against humanity in World War II. As she talked I just stood there and nodded my head till she was finished.

She was actually crying by the time she was done. That's when I leaned over and whispered into her ear:

'Okay..gimme ten bucks then alright?'

She stomped off after calling me a 'filthee hoont. (I think that means 'DOG' in German)

'I'm a rabbit you blind Nazi bitch'

I retorted,

'not no fucking smelly dog!!!'