As I stood there on the Brooklyn bridge I began looking for that part of the bridge where the Facts of Life girls had visited. They were always travelling-those Facts of Life girls.

They even took the retarded one with them when they went to Paris. I didn't really like that show but I know I used to watch it more when the retarded girl was on it. She was always bawling to Blair about how all the boys liked her better because she (Blair) didn't have Cerebral Palsy.

Blair always told her some crap about God loving her and then the show would end with the retarded girl telling some shitty joke and everyone laughed.

Suddenly I felt very unbalanced, standing there on the Brooklyn Bridge , thinking about old Facts of Life episodes and developing a massive migraine headache in the process.

Take a couple deep breaths , I thought to myself, the mask is cutting off your regular supply of oxygen and making you delirious.

So, I breathed in deep and steadied myself on the bridge but I really felt like collapsing in a heap. And then...it happened...

I can't really explain why it happened or what I was thinking when it did. But I knew this much...It was time to get off that goddamned bridge.